A Life Well Lived

The Faith and Legacy of My Mom

Replay of the memorial service at Desert Springs Church, Albuquerque, New Mexico, April 22nd, 2026 at 12 noon (mountain time), 2pm EST – https://youtube.com/live/LsSM-DX5r_E

Barbara Louise Lighty, my mom, was born March 10th, 1942 in Chicago, Illinois. She went home to heaven to be with the Lord on April 12th, 2026 from Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Daughter of William Lighty and Louise Lighty

Oldest sister to Pat, Michelle, and Bill

Wife to Hugh Fordyce

Mother to 6 – Robert, Scott, Daniel, Greg, Carl, and David

Aunt to 6 – Stephanie, Clayton, Trisha, Ashley, Kevin, and Shelby

Grandmother to 13 – Joshua, Noelle, Victoria, Kimberly, MacKenzie, Kyle, Tobias, Florence, Naomi, Jacob, Ella, Alice, and Joe.

Great Grandmother to 2 – Ebenezer, and Solomon

My mom was a mother, a grandmother, and a great-grandmother, a registered nurse, a teacher, a follower of Jesus Christ, and a friend to many…

She had a great ability to make friends… moving around with her parents every 2 years as her dad was in the Air Force. Living in locations around the US and abroad – Japan, England, Okinawa… moving that often taught her how to connect and make friends quickly. My mom was also great at asking questions. She truly cared about people and wanted to know more about them and how to pray for them.

As we mourn her loss, we celebrate her new life of healing and joy in the presence of the Lord in heaven.

“Precious in the sight of the LORD Is the death of His godly ones.” Psalms 116:15

“You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.” Psalms 16:11

“For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17

My mom was such a special person. And, besides my wife, there is no person that I love and admire more than my mom. Let me tell you why. (Special thanks to my brother Daniel for putting this slide show together).

My Memories of My Mom

Grandpa and Grandma Lighty

To understand who my mom is, you have to look back to the times she spent with her grandparents on their small farm in Canon City, Colorado. While her family moved often due to her father’s Air Force career, her grandparents provided stability and a strong Christian foundation. Grandpa Lighty was a farmer, a businessman, an itinerant preacher, and her grandma faithfully shared their love for Jesus, leaving a lasting impact on my mom’s life.

An Act of Rebellion

While living in Okinawa, Japan, my mom a recent high school graduate working as a secretary, met my dad, Ken, a high school senior. They had a common trauma bond of their strict military upbringings, they fell in love and secretly planned to elope in Long Beach, California, intending to live with my dad’s Grandma Aggie. My mom’s ruse was that she would go to secretarial school and my dad was going to go to college in Long Beach. Once they arrived their marriage plans were temporarily delayed when they learned they couldn’t get married in California without parental consent. So, they drove to Idaho and got married there because the marriage laws there allowed you to get married at 18 without parental consent. Their fathers were furious, but from 8,000 miles away, there was little they could do, especially with Grandma Aggie supporting them.

I was born the next year. I remember seeing pictures of my parents holding me outside Grandma Aggie’s apartment building in Long Beach. My parents were young when I was born, 20 and 19 — babies having babies as it were. But they were going to make it. They were going to raise their children in a loving environment, not like the overbearing strict households that they had grown up in.

Age Seven Conversion Story

Perhaps I could have used more of that “structure”, because when I was six I got caught stealing toys from a local drug store by my mom, and between her and the manager who I had to confess to, they told me I was lucky I didn’t end up in jail. And apparently I hadn’t learned my lesson, because at the age of seven, I was caught cheating on a test by my 2nd grade teacher Mrs. Leeds.

My mom had told me something she had learned from her Grandma and Grandpa Lighty, “If you lie, you’ll cheat, if you cheat, you’ll steal, if you steal, you’ll murder.” which meant that one small sin will lead to a bigger sin. Mrs. Leeds told me essentially the same thing and then she said, “Robbie, You need Jesus”. I had already lied, and stolen, now I had cheated… what was next, murder? I told Mrs. Leads that was the last time I was going to cheat. I went home that day and told my mom what I had done, and said my teacher said I needed Jesus. My mom promptly called her church-going sister Pat for a church recommendation in our area, and she found the First Southern Baptist Church of South Gate.

First Southern Baptist Church of South Gate

We went to that church. The pastor, also known as “Brother Herb” had a way of sharing stories about Jesus that were so vivid and just drew me in. When he shared one Sunday about the consequences to my sin, about how Jesus died for my sins, and if I receive him I can have eternal life in heaven, but if I reject him I would spend eternity in Hell…. and as he described hell I could just feel the fires around me. I was no dummy. I knew I was a sinner. I was a liar. I cheated. I stole. I needed Jesus. I went forward to receive Jesus as my savior and repent of my sins and escape the fires of Hell!

My Mom Got Saved

And it was at that church that my mom got saved and my brother Scott got saved. My mom starting growing in her faith and took me and my brother to church every Sunday. My dad, Ken, wasn’t interested. Even when I told him about Jesus and warned him about hell through my tears, he wasn’t convinced.

My Parents Divorced

My parents had a rocky marriage. My mom confronted my dad, Ken, and told him to choose between her or his playboy lifestyle. He chose the later and they got a divorce. I was about twelve when that happened. And as a side note, my dad did eventually receive Jesus as Savior when in 2004 he watched the movie, “The Passion of the Christ”, he was moved to tears and repented and received Jesus as Savior.

My Mom Became a Registered Nurse

After my parents divorced. Reality set it. My mom didn’t have a job. She was a stay-at-home mom. So what did my mom do? In that same fighting spirit of hers that concocted the plan to run away and get married, she signed up for the 2-year nursing program at Compton City College, in California. In order to do this, we lived on welfare for 2 years while she went back to school.

Frugal Living and Support From Our Church

We lived very frugally during those years. I remember mom shopping at day-old bread stores, and buying clothes at second-hand stores, and I remember the people looking at us with disdain in the grocery store line as she would peal off food stamps to pay for food at the cashier. But she was determined and she had a plan and she knew she would be working soon and paying her own way. We also had our church supporting us as well. I remember times when the church we went to at North Long Beach Brethren, would bring us gifts at Christmas time, bags of groceries throughout the year, turkey dinner at Thanksgiving.

My mom finally graduated and became a Registered nurse. Even as a young man I was so impressed by her tenacity. Her dedication to her education and career goal was inspiring! When she got her first paycheck from St. Francis Hospital in Lynwood, California, she promptly returned her last welfare check. The welfare office wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. People just didn’t return welfare checks.

Bible at the Breakfast Table

My mom lead us as a family in reading the Bible to us at the breakfast table. Every morning. Without fail. Taking us to Church. Taking us to a weekly Bible memory program for youth called AWANA’s (“Approved Workmen are Not Ashamed”) from 2 Timothy 2:15, “Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the Word of truth.”. I have so many Bible verses that I remember to this day because of AWANA’s. And I have my mom to thank for that.

Knowing the Bible was important to her, because as she witnessed in the lives of her Grandma and Grandpa Lighty, the Bible taught her about God and how to live a life pleasing to Him. The Lord was faithful to her, to provide for her, and she wanted to follow Jesus with her whole heart in return.

My Mom wrote everything on 3”x 5” Index Cards

These index cards, they contain prayer requests, Bible Verses, things she learned.

I remember her quizzing herself with medical terms on one side of the card and definitions on the other. She did the same with Scripture. Below is just a small sampling of the hundreds of Bible verses that she wrote on cards.

New Church – Grace Brethren Church of Long Beach

We started to attend a new church Grace Brethren Church of Long Beach. And my mom joined the singles group at church.

There She Met Hugh

My first memories of Hugh are he was wearing a Cowboy hat, cowboy boots, beard, dark sunglasses, smoking a pipe – Picture if the Scottish Mafia and American Cowboys teamed up to solve the case.

As a single man, he had a good strategy to meet the ladies at church. He taught a class to the women in the singles group about basic car maintenance and then offered to come and help teach them on their own vehicles – oil changes, brakes, tune-ups, etc. He turned that first lesson of changing the oil on my mom’s car into a date with mom and the rest is history.

They eventually got married. Me and my brother got cheap suits as a consolation prize and we were in the wedding. I think there’s a picture of us somewhere in that slideshow.

Marriage and Sons

They had a blended family – Hugh had three kids of his own – Greg, Carl, and David. My mom had two boys – Me and Scott. And then at the ripe old age of 37, my mom had a baby with Hugh — my brother Daniel. Hugh thought it would be an awesome idea for me to hear about the big news of my brothers birth, by calling my school and asking for an announcement to be read in my class. Something any 16 year old boy would like to hear, right? My classmates sang “For he’s a jolly good fellow” and I received teasing from my friends about my amorous parents… I later learned that when girls at school found out I had a baby brother that they would be more than happy to help me babysit. After that I offered my parents to babysit every Friday night with one of my “friends” from school.

Marriage Wasn’t Always Easy

My mom and dad had struggles in their marriage. But they didn’t give up. In fact, Hugh was such an example of a faithful husband, that I know his influence on me saved my marriage on several occasions. I remember Hugh telling me that going to marriage counseling was like going to get your oil changed on a regular basis. If you wait until the marriage is almost over to get counseling it might be too late when the cars engine is already destroyed. I guess he learned some marriage tips from those auto maintenance classes that he taught to the singles group.

My Mom was a Nurse and a Teacher

My mom served others in Nursing and in Teaching nurses. She taught for over 40 years teaching about 100 students per year. That’s 4,000 nursing students that she taught over her career. And she finally retired from teaching at the age of 80.

Now one thing you have to know about nurses. They rarely take “NO” for an answer. And they are like a band of sisters, committed to each other. Several nurses came in to visit my mom in the last days of her life that she never knew before, but they wanted to honor this fellow sister nurse of theirs. It was such a blessing to see her friends like Gloria and Brenda and others who were her fellow sister nurses in Christ to come and minister to my mom and our family.

If a nurse feels like a patient needs a particular path of care, they will stand up for them, and communicate to the doctors and the family. They are the ultimate mediator to stand up for patient rights. Well, that translates into other relationships as well, and as a follower of Jesus Christ, my mom told others about how they too could know Jesus. And she became a discipler of many women.

Missions Minded – Desert Springs Church

Both my mom and my Dad were very interested in missions. They were involved with missions and supporting missionaries throughout their marriage. In Waxhaw, North Carolina, they served at the mission agency Wycliffe. They had ideas of serving in foreign missions together whey they retired, my mom serving as a nurse and my Dad in maintenance and building.

They even influenced me later on in life as me and my wife went to Bible school and had plans on heading to the foreign mission field after we got married. But as it turns out all of us were not going to the foreign mission field but to the mission field here in America. I often wondered why my parents moved from North Carolina to New Mexico in 2010, (Dad you did realize it wasn’t Mexico but New Mexico you were moving to, right?), but I think God wanted them to be a part of this great missionary church at Desert Springs Church to make disciples locally and support missionaries both locally (Navajo missions) and overseas.

And it does not escape me that my mom’s memorial service was sandwiched in between the two ministries that mattered to her most – Women’s Ministry Retreat last Saturday and Pastor’s Retreat at the Navajo nation this coming Saturday. And, this is also the week of “America Reads the Bible Live”.

My Mom was a Cancer Survivor

She was a survivor of breast cancer at the age of 61. Unfortunately, she succumbed to her battle with bone cancer in these last years of her life. But she fought it, with painful treatments, if only to help to give her more time serve others through nursing, and through her ministry at Desert Springs Church.

My Mom was a Follower of Jesus

Jesus Christ was central to her life. She loved the Lord. She experienced His faithfulness. She also taught by discipling women in the faith. She learned how to disciple from a woman named Norma Wells at Grace Brethren Church in Long Beach, who discipled her and my mom in turn, was faithful in discipling and leading other women the rest of her life.

Let me share with you who my mom loved most – Jesus Christ

Let me introduce you to Jesus that was central to her life. The Savior who gave her meaning and purpose. The Friend who helped her through countless trials. The Lord who comforts us and gives us hope.

Good News and Bad News…

The sin problem of man – Romans 3:23, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”. We’ve all sinned. We lie. cheat. steal. have lustful thoughts. have angry thoughts. These things separate us from God who is holy and righteous.

The problem and God’s solution – Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” and Romans 5:8, “God demonstrates his love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”. God sent Jesus Christ, his only son to die on the cross for our sins, to pay the penalty for our sins, so that we can receive the free gift of God of eternal life.

How do we respond? How do we receive this free gift – Rom. 10:9, “If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved” and Acts 2:38, “Repent and believe…”. Acts 2:38. If you believe in your heart that Jesus died for you. If you acknowledge you are a sinner and repent from your sins. You can receive Jesus in your life.

Then we follow Jesus – Read the Bible. Pray. Attend church. We tell others about Jesus. We walk in the power of the Holy Spirit and experience God’s Love, Joy, and Peace in spite of whatever circumstances we are in. Remember that verse shared earlier, “In your presence is fullness of joy, at your right hand are pleasures forever.” ? That happens right here and now, not just in heaven.

Your Response

Three Options:

1 – Never heard before and would like to receive Jesus or maybe you’ve been going to church for awhile, maybe you bring your kids to church, maybe your spouse dragged you along, maybe you attended your whole life, but never received the free gift of salvation

2 – Believe in Jesus and follow Jesus, but don’t regularly share your faith

3 – Maybe you’re interested in Jesus and you’d just like to learn more

For those who are 1’s, you can pray a simple prayer to God like this… “Dear Father in heaven, I know that I am a sinner. I cannot save myself. Jesus died for my sins. And I receive Jesus as Savior. Please forgive me of my sins. Help me to follow you all the days of my life. In Jesus name, Amen.”

For 2 and 3, introduce yourself to each other. The believers in Jesus would love to share with those who are seeking, the wonderful life of the Jesus follower. And Desert Springs Church is a great place for you to grow in your faith.

Congratulations and welcome to the family of God.

A gift for you!

And as a special gift to anyone who was is brave enough to reach out to me and let me know of your decision to follow Christ after reading this, I have a coin with the Armor of God on it, that I would like to give to you along with some additional resources to help you grow in your relationship with Jesus. Email team@beholdhisglory.net

Thank you!

Thank you for your time in reading this memorial post about my mom. As followers of Jesus Christ we have the assurance that we will spend eternity in heaven.

Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?”

Do you believe this? Do you believe that Jesus died for your sins? Do you believe he rose from the dead? Do you believe that you need to receive Jesus as savior and follow him?

I want more than anything for you to have this assurance. Please pray and ask God to save you!

I look forward to seeing my mom, in heaven someday. And, I know my mom will be one of the first ones to greet us when we get there!

Watch “Thank you for Giving to the Lord” by Ray Boltz on YouTube – LINK